Avoid Dating Scams in Shanghai
Have you ever heard about the Tea Scam in Shanghai from tourists? If you have not, let me tell you this:” Hi, Sir, I am a university student, and I would like to practice my English with you.” A cheerful young lady would say this to foreigners in People’s Square in Shanghai and gladly take you to a “Cafe” or “Tea-house.” She would explain how to appreciate the Chinese Tea ceremony and when time goes by, as long as the foreigner would like to exit would be handed a bill of unreasonable charges from her friend’s tea house/cafe. All of these are scripted and typical tourist scams.
But let me tell you more, the same scammers are getting smarter (since covid happened with travel restrictions, almost no foreign tourists are out there. There is now a practice of online dating scams.
I know most people who have heard of it would think only idiots would fall for it but let me tell you this: A newcomer from another smaller Chinese city as an English teacher just recently moved to the Big City of Shanghai. He is young and energetic but maybe a bit naive. I got a call from him at 1 am. I could tell he was in distress from his shaken voice. He was also embarrassed to say to me what had happened.
“I went on a date. I met up with this girl from Tantan (a Chinese dating app equivalent to Tinder). I went to a place she took me to, ordered a bottle of Prosecco (Champaign), and handed me a bill of 15,000 RMB; they had thugs now blocking the exit. I am hiding in the men’s room to call you. I am scared. Please send help.”
I feel so bad that he fell for it and became a victim. I should have told him earlier, but people don’t casually discuss dating apps and activities.
My advice to him was “Call the Cops” He was so worried that the school he worked at would find out about what happened, he was worried that the police don’t speak English, he was worried that the police can’t help much, and would make him pay, he even think of borrowing money from me to help him get out of it. He didn’t even know the emergency number to call - 110.
I waited patiently, and half an hour later, he told me he called the police as I said, and the police told him to go home. He didn’t pay a dime in this incident. Even though he made it out, he told me he had been paranoid that someone might have been following him for a few days. And he would never go near that area again in his life.
Can you imagine how much money is being scammed away from innocent expats new to this city? EVERYDAY! And the scammers bet that the expats would be too ashamed to call the police and would pay the shameful bill even though they knew they were being scammed by then. Here is the scam practice: The girl takes you to a dodgy venue, orders items even before you can look at the menu, and the restaurant staff is, of course, conspired. It worked well for them because it has been working well with many foreign expats and tourists, and they will make it harder to walk away from paying the bill as much as possible.
Sometimes they will give you one menu to check when you order. Then when the bill comes, they will show you a completely different menu with much higher prices when you question the bill! These are all grand setups.
There is nothing wrong with using dating apps with good intentions; falling into scams like these can be traumatic. So here are just a few tips:
Look for the red flags: Meeting up in People’s square or East Nanjing Road Station, 99% of these initiatives are from scammers. They would also ask you how long you have been in China/Shanghai. The fresher, the better for them to target.
Always choose and suggest the spot to meet. It can be a coffee shop around the area of Jing’an, or Xuhui (former french concession), such as Wuding Lu, Fumin Lu, Wulumuqi Lu, or Yongjia Lu. Joints like Wagas, Peet’s, and Bluefrog, to name a few.
Never go to "‘their” cafe; if they are too convincing, CHECK THE PRICE LIST/MENU before ordering anything.
And if you failed the first 3 tips, REFUSE TO PAY and WALK AWAY! (Or ask to go to the ATM and then make a run in public)
If they say they will call the cop on you, they aren’t even a real cop. They can be some big goons, fake cops. CALL THE COPS YOURSELF - 110! REAL POLICE in SHANGHAI SPEAKS ENGLISH TOO!
Please spread the word to reduce the risks for other potential victims. Welcome to Shanghai.